News

New study reveals what age you should “stop clubbing”

We’ve got some bad news for everyone born pre-1980: it’s time to stop clubbing.

At least, that’s what a dubious new study — which polled 5000 adults across the UK — wants you to believe. According to the study, which was picked up by Mixmag, 37 is the age when you’re officially “too old” to be out on the dancefloor.

It gets worse: 37 per cent of survey respondents confirmed that “there is nothing more tragic than seeing adults in their 40s and 50s surrounded by twenty somethings in pubs and bars.” Ooft.

The study also found that by the time 31 rolls around, most of us are already electing to stay in on Saturday nights. “Almost half (46 percent) of adults now dread social events or nights out, preferring to “lounge” in the comfort of their own home,” the report says.

Having to get “dressed-up” is the primary reason most people stay at home, with 22 per cent saying they would rather skip it all together than put on some nice shoes. When we do eventually drag ourselves out of the house, 60 per cent of us think it’s too pricey, while 29 per cent say they just can’t bear the next day hangover.

More hilariously, it seems most of us are just looking for someone to have a quiet one with: “nearly seven in ten said they were relieved when they met ‘the one’ as it meant they no longer had to trawl the local haunts for a suitor and could finally embrace cosy nights in.”

The good news? With the study funded by a tech company with a vested interest in keeping you indoors, we’ll take the results with a grain of salt. Rave on, Gen X-ers.