7 dance trends you wish you could forget

Article image via Pilerats

Hey, listen, it’s okay. We’ve all done things we regret. Early in your youth, late at night, on a darkened dancefloor, hopefully back in the days before camera phones were a thing.

We may forgive, but that doesn’t mean we forget: because over the years our clubs have seen many dance crazes come and many dance crazes go, and there are some which will be forever indelibly stained upon our collective memories, like the hydrogen peroxide of a broken glowstick trodden deep into the dancefloors of our souls.

Look upon your twerks, ravers, and despair. (You’ll note the Melbourne Shuffle’s not included because that dance is amazing.)

#7 Tecktonic

In 2007, France was just about the coolest place in the world. Daft Punk, Justice and the Ed Banger crew were doing more for French self-image than a thousand Serge Gainsbourgs and Jane Birkins combined. Then they started uploading hundreds of videos of les mecs doing the Tecktonic dance and shot their credibility all to shreds.

#6 The Harlem Shake

Poor Baauer. He never wanted his 2007 bedroom banger to turn into 2013’s most irritating viral meme and will still take every possible opportunity to tell you that the global, inescapable YouTube dance craze (not to be confused with the original Harlem Shake dance) that was spawned by his tune Harlem Shake is “corny and annoying as fuck”. “I can truthfully tell you that I’m happy with that [viral fame] being the only time it happens,” he told Rolling Stone.

#5 The Juicy Wiggle

The ‘Juicy Wiggle’ was a dance craze endemic to 2013’s Melbourne Bounce scene (one enterprising filmmaker even made a half hour documentary about it, which you can watch over here). The two-minute Harlem Shake rip-off clip below was meant to be a joke; the song that Redfoo subsequently made about the same dance was not. Draw your own conclusions.

#4 Gloving

Amazingly, the company that makes specialist light-show gloves was one of the few brands from the EDM boom that didn’t get bought up by doomed mega-company SFX. So that means they’re still open for business and providing the preferred form of visual entertainment for people that like cuddle puddles, touching the hair of strangers and spending five minutes trying to find a lighter in their pocket.

#3 Jumpstyle

A strange and worrying offshoot of the Gabber Stomp, the preferred dance style of Dutch teenagers from sleepy villages with penchants for tracksuits and low-quality amphetamine. Only ever acceptable after five points of shard and several litres of budget cider (skip to the 50 second mark for the gold).

#2 That Liquid Dancing breakbeat shuffle thing

If you ever went to a breaks night between 2000 and 2005, wore Royal Elastics sneakers or a trucker hat, held Kid Kenobi’s Clubbers Guide to Breaks as the gospel brought to life, or genuinely took baby powder to a club (for frictionless dancefloor action) then you know you’re guilty.

#1 Rinsing

Perth has spawned many wonderful things, like Pendulum and Knife Party. Like Little Creatures Pale Ale. And like the sweaty army of bucket-hat-clad dancers known as Rinsers. They came out of nowhere, tore some dancefloors to shreds, caused some black eyes from flailing limbs, and were promptly declared fuccbois. At least we’ll always have this gem from Perth’s final Future Music Festival.

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